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Take a listen as I talk about:

Help the body by releasing chronic tension and stressors
Discover ways to discharge sorrow and grief
Use touch, sound, conscious emotional expression and meditation to support trauma release
Create change on the somatic level plus much more…

Visit: The Autoimmune Hour website to listen or watch the episode!

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By alerting us when our boundaries are being pushed too far, anger can act much like the smoke alarm in our homes. Often it comes when we are saying ‘yes’ to things when we’d rather say ‘no’. Perhaps, we are feeling overwhelmed and that our partner should take on more responsibilities to support us more…. Maybe there are long-standing frustrations with close friends or family and we don’t share our thoughts or feelings… Perhaps we feel that someone is treating us unfairly…? Like a fire alarm in our home that goes off to alert or tell us that something is not right, the gift of anger is much the same way. It alerts us that something in our life is not feeling quite right. When our house is on fire, we don’t reject the fire alarm, we don’t try to ignore the fire alarm, we don’t feel guilty or ashamed at the fire alarm or ask how to get rid of the fire alarm. The fire alarm is telling us our house is burning down. The red alert of anger can tell us when our boundaries are being pushed too far.

For many of us, reclaiming our access to healthy anger is an integral part of healing our past trauma.  At its essence, all trauma is a boundary rupture of some kind – whether it’s from a car accident, a natural disaster, or violence from another human being – our sense of safety and having an intact boundary has been lost.  It is healthy to regain the felt sense of the power of our anger. Owning our ability to say to say “NO”, can empower us to stand up for what we need and speak our truth with energy and safety. This is vital to heal the ruptures.  We need our anger to feel that we can defend our boundaries, and without it our nervous system automatically collapses or freezes in order to numb any discomfort or pain.

Chinese Medicine has long recognized the interdependent of our emotions and physical health. Specific organ systems in our body are associated to an emotion (as well as a season, sense organ, flavor and color), and excessive anger is said to harm the flow of Liver Qi.  Conversely, an out of balance Liver system can lead us to be quick to anger, easily frustrated or depressed.  It’s been recognized for thousands of years that suppressed anger is connected to many common ailments – including headaches, vision problems, menstrual irregularities, and PMS, to name a few.

So how does the restriction of anger show up in tension patterns in your body? Maybe it shows up as shallow chest breathing, tension headaches, a tight jaw, belly, neck, or shoulders? We learn at a young age to stuff our anger and our tears by tightening our muscles and restricting our breathing. Over the years that becomes our unconscious default pattern. In the BioDynamic Breathwork and Trauma Release System, we work with conscious touch, breath and movement to create a safe holding environment so we can come back into contact with the power of our anger without it being overwhelming or cathartic. This allow our bodies to unwind the layers of tension and unblock the constriction in our muscles, freeing up our life-force energy.

It’s widely known that our emotional patterns are held in our tissues. To heal we must work with our breath and body to get below our conscious ego identity which keep us disconnected from our healthy anger. We are often locked into patterns of suppressing our self-expression and denying our deepest needs.  Overcoming the fear of our own anger and others’ becomes a journey of self-discovery with a return into loving ourselves. Its gifts include helping to heal our ruptured boundaries and restore trust in ourselves and relationships, not to mention vibrant health and vitality.

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As we sit together in our session, she tells me about her terrible menstrual cramps, the chronic pains in her neck and shoulders, and I notice the tension in her jaw as she talks about stressors in her life.  I ask her to tell me about her relationship to anger; when or how she notices she feels angry.  Looking surprised, her immediate response is “Oh, I’m not an angry person!”

I’m talking with a man close to 60 who is furious at his employer because they are not paying him the benefits he is legally entitled to receive and lives below the poverty line while raising his grandchild.  He asks for my advice for how to “get rid of the anger”.

I remember all the times that I would break down crying if I felt someone was angry at me.  I was so fearful of anger – other people’s and my own – that I would freeze with a numbed-out mind or collapse in tears of shame if someone was angry at me.  It didn’t matter if it was my swim coach yelling at our team in the heat of a competition, or a partner expressing anger at something I said or at a dynamic within our relationship.  I could not access my own protective energy of anger, set a boundary and express my true feelings and needs in those moments.

Anger is a part of the sympathetic branch of our autonomic nervous system and is the core of our self-protective energy.  We’ve nick-named the sympathetic nervous system the “fight or flight” branch, and anger energy comes up when we feel that our boundaries are threatened, or we feel attacked verbally or physically.  Healthy, self-protective anger is linked to our life-force energy, that sense of “I can” that supports us in going out into the world and being creative and feeling alive.  Anger also comes up commonly if we feel that someone or something is restricting us, holding us back, hindering our expansion.  It gives us the energy and impulse to protect our right to be here, to exist and to thrive free of manipulation from others.

There is a difference between feeling our healthy anger, our internal signal that tells us that ‘something is not ok with me’ versus directing (or dumping) destructive anger on someone else or being on the receiving end of someone else’s anger.  What I am speaking to is the importance of recognizing when a part of us feels angry, bringing it into our awareness to feel and inquire into it, and separating out any feelings of guilt or shame that may be tagging along or coupled with this anger that puts us into freeze, denial or avoidance.

We are taught in our early family life how to express and respond to anger.  Too often our natural anger or frustration was not respected, held, and supported in healthy ways. Instead we often learned that if we are angry, we are punished; physically or relationally.  Maybe we were shamed and exiled to our room or met with larger and more powerful expressions of anger by our parents.  Attachment Theory teaches us that a child will give up their own needs and authentic expression in order to hold onto a sense of belonging with the family by betraying themselves – to “save” the relationship – and this continues into our adult relationships.  We learn quickly to mold to the rules of our family, and every family has their own rules on anger.

Here are a few inquiry questions to bring you into conscious awareness your own relationship with anger while starting to separate healthy anger from feelings of shame or guilt. Stop and take a few minutes to reflect on your family’s story of anger…

*Who was allowed to express anger in your family?
*How was it for your mother or father to express anger with you or each other?
*What happened to you when you protested and expressed your anger?

Pause and take a few breaths, and then tune into your body, ask yourself “what is it like as an adult when something in me feels angry?”  See if you can notice without judging yourself the healthy and unhealthy ways parts of you express or avoid expressing anger to those closest to you. You can finally, turn your attention to any areas of anger or frustration you feel in your body at this moment, ask yourself “what are the words or messages my body and feelings are expressing right now?”

To accept all of who we are, and not deny any part of ourselves is new and radical idea. When we give ourselves permission to feel our healthy anger, we then have our boundaries and we also give the same permission to others. When we include all our emotional parts we feel more whole, bigger and our energy doesn’t have to go towards overriding or suppressing.  Let me remind you it’s not about letting anger run us or becoming an “angry person”, but rather being tuned into its wisdom and gifts.

To be continued in part 2 – Anger and Trauma

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When a child feels deeply betrayed in their trust, usually by their primary caregivers or also by a sibling or teacher, they may develop what Wilhelm Reich refers to as the “Psychopathic Structure”, also known as the “aggressive” or “controlling” pattern. This structure usually starts to develop between the ages of 2-4 years old.  During this time small children want to start playing away from their parent – but still in visual range – while also feeling seen and validated.  It’s common for children to ask for feedback on their new skills and learnings –  ‘Did you see how high I jumped?’ – and attention and acknowledgement of the child’s experience by the parents is crucial.  In this stage children are half-way between starting to do new things and still needing help/assistance in having things done for them (tying shoes, getting dressed, getting something to drink, reading a book, etc).  They are becoming more aware of the outside world and excited by things around them. Their sense of self and self-esteem arises from following their impulses and taking action.

What can go wrong is that, instead of the child’s curiosity, play and impulses being supported they can be denied or manipulated. The important adults don’t join in with them, – perhaps they are tired or emotionally preoccupied.  Perhaps the child was often pushed or encouraged to be independent before they were actually ready. They may have experienced shaming or belittling if they needed help. This can lead to the unconscious belief that they won’t really get what they ask for, but will be manipulated or betrayed instead. Or there can be a denial of the child’s true feelings or reality – a child expresses feelings and are met with a variation of “You don’t really mean that, dear’; ‘Of course you’re not sad, nothing to be upset about’; ‘There’s mommy’s brave boy”… All these sorts of interactions are actually profoundly out of contact with the child ‘s true experience.

These kind of reactions hurt the heart. They also can prevent a child from learning about the authentic emotional needs of others and feeling empathy. Ultimately, the child may give up on any expectation that authentic emotional connection with other people is possible.  From an Attachment Theory perspective this type carries several of the characteristics of the avoidant attachment style.

Their wound of feeling betrayed or alone in a moment of need leads them to believe that the world is a hostile place in which only the strongest and fittest survive. As a result, they learn early to turn inward towards their own resources, strength and willpower for lack of love and support from the outside world. Since they fear vulnerability and have no faith in love, they often become loners and resolve to not needing anyone or anything outside of themselves for fear of losing control to others again. These types often develop a compelling set of survival strategies, making them powerful leaders at best and tyrannical rulers at worst.

When speaking of the “Psychopathic Structure”, as with all other character structures, it is important to remember that the widely used pathology-based terms for these patterns cannot be directly associated with the psychological pathologies, e.g. of psychopathy or schizophrenia. Meaning that if somebody shows signs of a psychopathic pattern it does not automatically make them a psychopath in the clinical sense. Within all patterns there is a vast range of healthy and unhealthy expressions and behaviours that a person may adopt and, with time, also learn to grow out of and heal. In turn though, a pathological psychopath, sociopath or narcissist will likely carry the childhood wounding of the psychopathic structure.

The gifts of this pattern come from turning their focus and energy inwards, from where they reference themselves, allowing them to develop a strong sense of self and who they are. Their capacity to gather, channel and use energy at their will towards goals, projects, people and challenges can make them strong manifestors and, at best, Masters of Energy who radiate their aliveness, intensity, engagement and awareness to the world. They can become strong, independent and willful individuals with sound decision-making and survival skills thanks to their self-referencing abilities.

When stuck in the psychopathic pattern, a person remains consumed in their attempts to protect their vulnerability, turning their fear of hurt and betrayal into defence and towards controlling others so they cannot be controlled themselves. This may show through sophisticated manipulation tactics and, in fact, this type is often highly intelligent and eloquent, or through mental or physical aggression or violence towards others. They fear loss of power and are unable to let others be in theirs, leading to dominating, controlling behaviours. They lack empathy and an ability to feel others for their strong inward focus whereby they reference only themselves. To those around them they may appear needless and cold-hearted as they cannot allow themselves to be seen as weak or dependent on others. Contrary to the other types, the psychopathic type is connected with their anger and they are comfortable expressing it, usually towards getting what they want or to dominate others.

Physically, this type develops a strong armoring in the upper body, around the chest and shoulders, in an attempt to protect their vulnerable hearts. In relation to their strong, over-developed upper body, the lower parts of their body remain smaller and less developed, resulting in a V-shape of the body with broad, strong shoulders and narrow hips and thin legs. Energetically, they appear ungrounded due to the disproportion of their upper and lower body parts and inflated at the level of the chest and neck/head area. Their eyes are often compelling, with an intense gaze that exerts power and control which can easily be felt by others. Their bodies tend to be athletic and strong but are prone to injuries due to their tendency for pushing themselves too hard and ignoring their body’s limits and needs. This type tends to be disconnected from feelings, also towards their own feeling states.

The key to healing unhealthy psychopathic patterns lies in rebuilding this type’s trust and connection with others. They have learnt to rely on only themselves for safety so it is important for them to experience emotional, psychological or physical support in difficult situations when they would normally shut others out. Sadly, this type will often not be able to heal or transform their patterns due to their deep fear of showing their vulnerability and losing their power. They tend to be resistant to therapy and will rarely seek support unless their defenses are fundamentally broken. Even in such a case, they would tend to use therapy to re-build their original strength and armor, followed by a quick exit.

Breathwork in particular can be a very powerful modality for this type as it gives them an opportunity to safely relax into the care of a space holder while surpassing their usual conscious defences. This experience reprograms their original trauma, sending signals to the nervous system that it is safe to be weak and vulnerable in the presence of others. When working with this type it is important to help them sense their buried sadness, grief and abandonment, with a focus on de-armoring the upper body and to encourage the energy flow downwards towards the under-charged belly, pelvis and legs. The therapist needs to be prepared to be tested as this power-conscious type will only respect someone based on competency rather than pure authority. Over time, this type has convinced themselves that they are invulnerable and that nothing and no-one can hurt them. Having an experience of opening the heart again and allowing them to feel vulnerable in a safe space can be incredibly transformative and healing for this type – or, conversely, lead to them having to re-build their armor, throwing them back into their patterns. First and foremost it is important to communicate openly and truthfully with this type as their strong referencing abilities make them very sensitive towards lies and inauthenticity. Being able to trust what they hear automatically allows them to relax and become more open towards the person they are dealing with. At the deepest level, this type believes that they are bad humans and completely unlovable. Showing them that they are lovable and bringing them in touch with their gifts, such as directing their power towards good causes, will also help them transform and move towards healthy expression of their pattern.

If you are a breathworker, healer, coach, yoga teacher or therapist, or just wanting to dive deeper into understanding your own developmental history and explore somatic approaches to healing, please see details of my upcoming Healing Developmental Trauma retreat and training in May 2020 in Colorado HERE

If you are interested in learning more about developmental trauma and how it shapes our mind and body, check out my video training course Introduction to Reichian Character Structures & Developmental Trauma HERE

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During the first couple of years of a child’s life, they are completely dependent on their primary caregiver (usually the mother) to fulfill their basic needs for food, comfort and affection. Ideally in this phase the child learns to trust that their basic needs will be fully met when expressed, leaving them feeling relaxed, happy and satisfied. Different circumstances may lead to the caregiver being unable to adequately fulfill these needs during this stage, such as the mother being ill, exhausted or otherwise unavailable for the child. This in turn leaves the child feeling anxious and their nervous system unable to relax back into a state of calm. Over time, the message the child picks up is that it is not safe to ask, or that asking may in fact lead to them feeling worse, and with that the child gradually loses trust that their mother (or indeed anyone) can meet their needs. The difficulty arises if later in life a person becomes stuck in this sense of deprivation and continues to rely on others to fill them up, leading to a pattern which Wilhelm Reich refers to as the “Oral Structure”, also known as the “Needy Child”.

An important part of a child’s development is the internal connection to their own body signals and messages. This includes recognizing core needs like food, sleep, attention, touch and time alone. The child doesn’t feel these as separate needs but rather as a discomfort in their body. Infants learn through attuned attention to actually identify what their needs are and start to develop the felt sense of satiation. For the Oral character structure, this attuned attention to needs didn’t happen enough. If needs are not met the discomfort in their body continues and grows to pain, and the natural response to this chronic situation is to lose contact with the body.  As an adult this leads to an inability to identify needs and a disconnect from the felt sense of satiation, the ability to relax, and to receive.

Their early experience of Not-Getting-Enough weaves itself as a theme through their adult relationships, in which this person stays focused on the other in an attempt to seek fulfilment from the outside, rather than through their own internal resources. Feelings of emptiness and longing at the core of their body are avoided through an external focus on connection with others, leaving them disconnected from their own feelings and needs. This person will often appear needless and express themselves through selfless action as they become very attuned to others’ feeling states and skillful at pleasing others and fulfilling their needs. This type is generally very heart-centered and generous, sensitive and compassionate. They are good listeners, helpful and supportive and will often take on caring roles in their professional and private lives. When in the gifts of this pattern, this person will experience an abundance of love, joy and happiness in their lives, as well as an ability to genuinely comfort and uplift others.

The oral character structure can therefore take on two very different patterns – that of an outwardly needy person who sucks on others’ energy, or a pattern whereby the person compensates their neediness by becoming needless and focusing on the needs of others. The latter expression is commonly referred to as the “compensated oral structure” and this person may in fact appear extremely self-sufficient with an underlying belief that they do not need anyone or anything, relying completely on themselves. This is similar to and may play out through strategies displayed by later developmental structures, such as the need to control and manipulate others (Psychopathic Structure), carrying the burden of taking care of others resentfully (Masochistic Structure), or the need to be perfect and highly successful (Rigid Structure). Regardless of their expression, the oral type is ruled by an underlying fear of abandonment, isolation and a strong resentment at not being held and nourished. Consequently, they have difficulty expressing their anger in a healthy way for fear of being rejected and cut off from others.

The body of this person tends to develop much like the body of an infant, with a sunken chest and soft, rounded shoulders slumping downwards and inwards to protect the heart. The hands and feet are small in relation to the rest of the body which will appear as lacking energy and strength, with the musculature being under-developed and flaccid. This person will often be too thin or too fat and energetically imbalanced, appearing not grounded and connected with the earth. Their head may be thrown forward with large outward-focused eyes and full lips reaching out for nourishment. They will give the impression of being weak and depressed, and unable to stand up for themselves. Their protective posture prevents them from breathing fully and feeling their core which is where they feel empty and helpless.

In a therapeutic context, this person needs to learn to acknowledge and claim their own needs, experience how it is to ask and to take in and feel satisfied on the level of their body’s felt sense. They need to be encouraged to express their needs and also be validated in their expression of strong emotions, particularly in their anger, without collapsing into sadness and depression. Touch is an important tool to give them a sense of being met and nourished, and this type will often crave physical connection through touch. However, their tendency to merge with others and dissolve in connection leaves them with weak energetic boundaries, so it is also essential for them to learn to feel themselves in their bodies without relying on others. Focus on grounding techniques and on feeling their core will help this type to stand on their own two feet and to feel energised from within themselves. Importantly, they need to feel entitled to having needs without feeling ashamed, guilty or anxious and find ways to nourish and comfort themselves.

These clients will often present a challenge to their therapist for their tendency to become dependent and suck energy from others. It is therefore just as important for the therapist to have clear boundaries and internal resources when working with an oral person, and notice any tendency to be sucked into their client’s field or feeling depleted by them.  Conversely, many people with this structure become therapists or other helping professionals.  For them it is important to be aware of when the pattern to take care of others to the detriment of your own boundaries may be kicking in.  This can show up as feeling overly exhausted after working with someone or working too much but also not having the ability to say “enough” and give yourself the care and nourishment you give others.

We will explore the 5 character structures and body types in more depth in upcoming blog posts. If you are a breathworker, healer, coach, yoga teacher or therapist, or just wanting to dive deeper into understanding your own developmental history and explore somatic approaches to healing, please see details of my upcoming Healing Developmental Trauma retreat and training in May 2020 in Colorado HERE

If you are interested in learning more about developmental trauma and how it shapes our mind and body, check out my video training course Introduction to Reichian Character Structures & Developmental Trauma HERE

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A short webinar with Prema McKeever and Giten Tonkov explaining the 5 Reichian character structures and how to work with them through the BioDynamic Breathwork & Trauma Release System.

If you are a therapist other helping professional and are interested in learning how to work with the character structures, please see details of our upcoming Special Skills Workshop in May 2019 in Poland: https://www.biodynamicbreath.com/event-module/healing-developmental-trauma-journey-character-structures/

If you are interested in learning more about developmental trauma and how it shapes our mind and body, check out my video training course Introduction to Reichian Character Structures & Developmental Trauma HERE

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Ideally as we are developing within our mother’s womb our nervous system and incoming spirit gets a sense of being welcomed and safely held.  Hopefully there’s a sense that we are wanted and connected to our mother emotionally and energetically.  Babies can get signals of this connection and welcoming, or lack thereof, through the mother’s hormones that pass through the placenta and the presence of tension, shock or extreme stress in the mother’s body.

Unfortunately for many of us our earliest holding environment did not feel like a safe or welcoming home. This could be due to external circumstances, such as being born in a war zone, having a difficult birth or early medical procedures, or may be to do with the mother being overly busy, unavailable or at conflict with herself and the arrival of the child. In response to extreme stresses or trauma in the earliest stages of a child’s development, meaning in utero, during birth or in the first 6 months of life, the child can develop a protective pattern known as the “Schizoid Structure”.  This structure is also referred to as the “Unwanted Child”, a person who at the deepest level fears contact with others and feels that they lack a right to exist physically.

Their early experience of fear is either severe or consistent enough so that the child’s nervous system is unable to relax.  Fear causes sympathetic nervous system activation, and the infant’s nervous system is not yet able to counter-balance such activation by itself – they rely on the connection and interaction with the caretaker to regulate and return them to a relaxed state. If the connection with the caretaker is insufficient or interrupted this can lead to the baby becoming stuck in a “functional freeze” state, which interferes with bonding and attachment to their caretakers.

Due to their early experiences of fear and lack of safety and connection in this world, these types do not learn to safely attach to and inhabit their physical bodies, making them prone to leaving the physical for the mental and spiritual realms. Energetically this expresses through a shift away from the body and feelings, to living more on the mental or spiritual planes of existence.  In more extreme cases the child can grow up in a state of emotional numbness or even dissociation.  One result of having their energy be more focused on the mental or spiritual reams rather than their body is that this Character Structure is often extraordinarily psychically gifted, intelligent, creative and imaginative. They will often perceive themselves as “highly sensitive” and are able to tune into their psychic gifts through communicating telepathically and with the plant and animal worlds.

As an adult, this leads to a strong pattern of trying to figure things out logically. This is someone who gets easily locked up in a contracted state and literally does not know how to relax and become embodied, as they lack the experience of their physical body being a safe place to rest in. Their early experience of wanting to reach out to others for comfort and soothing but not having those needs met means they have no model for safe, nourishing connections. Later in life this may express through difficulty in intimate connections with others and often just being on the planet and feeling that they belong.

Because this person is used to shifting their focus away from the physical towards the mental/spiritual planes, their body will appear fragmented, weak and under-energized, with weak energetic boundaries, leaving them prone to energetic interference and overwhelm. This lack of embodiment and the fear of being in the physical body can lead to a tendency to avoid strong feelings; especially those perceived as negative and overwhelming such as anger, rage, sadness and fear. This person usually does not allow themselves to express strong feelings or engage openly in conflict, and instead seeks expression of anger, attack and revenge through the psychic space. This tendency will often also be turned inwards as an experience of intense self-hatred and express as self-harm.

Their experience of lack of connection with their caretaker may leave this person with a vacant stare in their eyes, a remnant of them not being met through soothing eye-to-eye contact. Even though the Schizoid type is afraid of direct eye contact, they long for it and can receive healing through an experience of being met eye-to-eye in a safe and caring way. This can be experienced in a therapeutic context, when working with this person, and helps them relax armoring in the eye segment.

Another therapeutic approach to working with the Schizoid type is through embodiment and grounding practices. This person needs to learn to feel safe in this world and in their body even when strong feelings are present and threatening to overwhelm them. They are very sensitive and fear contact, and therefore will more likely be able to trust and open up to a light, gentle touch, both physically and energetically.

In my upcoming workshop ‘Healing Developmental Trauma’ we will explore non-cathartic ways we can support the nervous system of this Structure to come out of the long-held freeze response.  There is so much that can be done to support ourselves and our clients to restore a sense of safety, become embodied, and have a greater capacity and enjoyment for being in this world and in heartfelt connection to those around us. If you are a breathworker, healer, coach, yoga teacher or therapist, or just wanting to dive deeper into understanding your own developmental history and explore somatic approaches to healing, please see details of this retreat and training in May 2020 in Colorado HERE

If you are interested in learning more about developmental trauma and how it shapes our mind and body, check out my video training course Introduction to Reichian Character Structures & Developmental Trauma HERE

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